Taking a Journey With Elijah, the Prophet

Ahab told Jezebel all that Elijah had done, and how he had slain all the prophets with the sword.  Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”  Then he was afraid, and he arose and went for his life, and came to Beer-sheba, which belongs to Judah, and left his servant there.  But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree; and he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am no better than my fathers.”  And he lay down and slept under a broom tree; and behold, an angel touched him, and said to him, “Arise and eat.”  And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water.  And he ate and drank, and lay down again.  And the angel of the Lord came again a second time, and touched him, and said, “Arise and eat, else the journey will be too great for you.”  And he arose, and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God.^[1]

            When I first read 1 Kings and the story of Elijah, I found this passage bewildering.  If we back up to the beginning of Chapter 18, we find that Elijah is hated by the king, the king desiring to kill him.  Nevertheless, Elijah sends for the king and awaits his arrival.  Afterwards, he faces down all the Baal priests and slays them.  However, when the queen threatens him, he flees in fear.  It is incongruous to say the least.  If we consider it carefully however, we see that it looks that way only if we consider it in the historical perspective.  If we look at the passage, looking for Christ and the Church, it becomes more beneficial to us.  Therefore, let us travel, take a journey, with the prophet, Elijah.

            King Ahab went to Jezreel; and, the hand of the Lord being on Elijah, Elijah ran before the king to the entrance of Jezreel.^[2]  “Jezreel” means God sows.^[3]  In this, we see the Incarnation of our Lord.  Where we have Elijah running before the king, we can understand John the Baptist, the forerunner of Christ.  The slaying of the Baal priests can represent the preaching of John: “The voice of one crying in the wilderness: Prepare the way of the Lord, make his paths straight.”^[4]  The slaying of the Baal priests, who were leading the people astray, was to make his paths straight.  Today, the teaching of the Church and its people living holy lives is also making His paths straight, preparing for His second Coming.  Today, our lives in this world is the wilderness, and the Church and its inhabitants are preparing the way for our Lord’s second Advent.  As Elijah and John the Baptist did, we are “running” before the King.

            Then Jezebel sent a messenger to Elijah, saying, “So may the gods do to me, and more also, if I do not make your life as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow.”  Now, we know that Jezebel was an evil queen.  Nonetheless, we need to make Scripture to apply to ourselves.  As we have just applied the Baal priests to ourselves by saying that we need to “slay” them in preparing the way for our Lord’s second Advent, we must ask, “What are the Baal priests in our lives?”  That, primarily, is going to be the sins in our lives.  However, it goes much deeper than that.  We sin because we give in to our thoughts, sins, feelings, and passions which are not aligned to the will of God.  In that Jesus is the Head of the Church, the Church desires that our will (that which is not aligned to the will of God) be made as the life of one of them by this time tomorrow, being likened unto Jesus’ will in the Garden: “Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me; still, not my will but yours be done.”^[5]  Just as Jesus was asking the Father to make His will his will, we need to do likewise.  We do not have the power nor strength to do this on our own.  Also, it is not a one-time prayer.  It must be our continuous prayer.  Normally, this is going to be a slow, progressive process.  It will continue as long as we are praying, as long as it is our desire—which is our cooperation with the grace of God in this matter.  When we stop praying, it is probably due to the desire no longer being there.  The suffering we undergo by this being our desire is the “slaying of the Baal priests,” which is our will to please ourselves.  It is a fearful thing to desire to not please ourselves.  We treasure our thoughts, our opinions, our feelings, and our pleasures; and it is those things which cause us to sin.  In other words, whether we recognize it or not, we sin because we love to sin.  We do nothing against our will.

            For example, you have some money.  It is your will to keep that money or use it for a purpose you desire.  Someone holds you up at gunpoint, commanding that you turn over the money to him.  At that time, it becomes your will to turn over the money, or you retain your previous will and refuse, regardless of the consequences.  Whatever we do, we do in accordance with our will.  For this reason, we pray that God changes our will to correspond with his.  We see this occurring with St. Peter.  First, we see it when he denies Christ (cf. Lk 22:54-62).  We see it again in Antioch (cf. Gal 2:11-21) when St. Paul withstood him for acting the hypocrite.  However, in the end, God strengthened him to endure martyrdom.  Even when it comes to Jesus, who is God and Man, he did not depend upon his own strength but prayed to the Father, not my will but yours be done; and what occurs as a result of his prayer?  To strengthen him, an angel from heaven appeared to him.  He was in such agony, and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground.^[6]  As a man, the Son of God would not put trust in himself but looked to the Father.  May God give us the grace to do likewise.  As Elijah did, we need to flee, but we need to flee from our wills.  How do we accomplish that?

            Then he was afraid, and he arose and went for his life, and came to Beersheba, which belongs to Judah.  From St. Ambrose, we learn that Beersheba signifies the mysteries and sacraments of the divine and holy Law.^[7]  In other words, we flee to the Church, to the Scriptures and the Sacraments.  It is from the Word of God that we gain Wisdom, and it is from the grace of God in the Sacraments that we gain strength.

            But he himself went a day’s journey into the wilderness, and came and sat down under a broom tree.  From St. Methodius, we learn: “The bramble (or, broom tree) commends chastity, for the bramble and the agnos is the same tree.  By some it is called bramble, by others agnos.  Perhaps it is because the plant is akin to virginity that it is called bramble and agnos; bramble, because of its strength and firmness against pleasures; agnos, because it always continues chaste.  Hence, the Scripture relates that Elijah, fleeing from the face of the woman Jezebel, at first came under a bramble, and there, having been heard, received strength and took food; signifying that to him who flies from the incitements of lust, and from a woman—that is, from pleasure—the tree of chastity is a refuge and a shade, ruling men from the coming of Christ, the chief of virgins.” ^[8]

            …and he asked that he might die, saying, “It is enough; now, O Lord, take away my life; for I am no better than my fathers.”  Fr. George Haydock, in his commentary on this passage, states: “Elias requested to die, not out of impatience or pusillanimity”—that is, timidity, fear, cowardliness, nervousness, hesitation—"but out of zeal against sin; and that he might no longer be witness of the miseries of his people, and the war they were waging against God and his servants.”^[9]  We need this same zeal towards our wills, desires, feelings, and passions.  We are no better than those who die in sin.  They, also, were living in accord with their wills.  When we cry out because of our desire to live in accord with God’s will and not our own, God goes to work.

            And he lay down and slept under a broom tree; and behold, an angel touched him, and said to him, “Arise and eat.”  And he looked, and behold, there was at his head a cake baked on hot stones and a jar of water.  And he ate and drank, and lay down again.  And the angel of the Lord came again a second time, and touched him, and said, “Arise and eat, else the journey will be too great for you.  And he arose, and ate and drank, and went in the strength of that food forty days and forty nights to Horeb the mount of God.”  In the case of Moses, we do not have this scenario when he fasted forty days and nights.  Perhaps, it was because he was with the Lord.^[10]  We also do not see this in the case of our Lord, Jesus.  Perhaps, it is because he was led by the Spirit into the wilderness.^[11]  In the case of Elijah, God is preparing him for the journey.  This is also what is occurring in our situations: Although we are on the journey, God is preparing us for the ultimate day when we cross the threshold of time and eternity.  Of course, the meal is not the sumptuous meal we may desire; the meal is the wholesome meal of humility and frugality, the Eucharist.  In the Catechism of the Council of Trent, we find these words: “Finally, to comprise all the advantages and blessings of this sacrament in one word, it must be taught that the holy Eucharist is most efficacious towards the attainment of eternal glory; for it is written, Whoso [eats] my flesh, and [drinks] my blood, [has] eternal life, and I will raise him up at the last day (cf., Jn 6:54); that is to say, by the grace of this sacrament, men enjoy the greatest peace and tranquility of conscience during this life; and, when the hour of departing from this world shall have arrived, they, like another [Elijah], who in the strength of the cake baked on the hearth, walked to Horeb, the mount of God (cf. 1 Ki 19:6, 8), invigorated by the strengthening influence of this [heavenly food], will ascend to unfading glory and never ending bliss.”^[12]  Thus, ends our journey with the Elijah, the prophet.

            We do not need to recall much about this passage.  All we need to do is remember three things: 1) We are our own worst enemy, 2) pray that God’s will be done, not ours, and 3) recall that, in God’s Word and the Sacraments—especially, the Eucharist—in conjunction with our desire, our cooperation with God’s grace, this is transpiring—slowly, but surely.           We must not despair and give up because we may not see “fruit” quickly.  Patience and perseverance are the keys.  Always be steady, endure suffering.^[13]  He who endures to the end will be saved.^[14]  It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons.^[15]  Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.^[16]  To see how this might look in action, let us remember the prayer of St. Francis:

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace
Where there is hatred, let me sow love
Where there is injury, pardon
Where there is doubt, faith
Where there is despair, hope
Where there is darkness, light
And where there is sadness, joy

O divine master, grant that I may
not so much seek to be consoled as to console
to be understood as to understand
To be loved as to love
For it is in giving that we receive
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned
And it's in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen.

            This is extremely difficult.  We can only do it by God’s grace, with us continually requesting this of him.  If we forget, let us confess, repent, and start again.  If we persevere in this, this is not doubt that God will accomplish this in us.

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^[1] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), 1 Ki 19:1–8.

^[2] Ibid., 1 Ki 18:45–46.

^[3] Stelman Smith and Judson Cornwall, The exhaustive dictionary of Bible names, 1998, 145.

^[4] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Mt 3:3.

^[5] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Lk 22:42.

^[6] Ibid., Lk 22:43–44.

^[7] Ambrose of Milan, St. Ambrose: Select Works and Letters, 1896, 10, 468.

^[8] Methodius of Olympus, Fathers of the Third Century: Gregory Thaumaturgus, Dionysius the Great, Julius Africanus, Anatolius and Minor Writers, Methodius, Arnobius, 1886, 6, 348–349.

^[9] George Leo Haydock, Haydock’s Catholic Bible Commentary, (New York: Edward Dunigan and Brother, 1859), 1 Ki 19:4.

^[10] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Ex 34:28.

^[11] Ibid., Mt 4:1–2.

^[12] Catholic Church, The Catechism of the Council of Trent, (London: George Routledge and Co., 1852), 240.

^[13] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), 2 Ti 4:5.

^[14] Ibid., Mt 10:22.

^[15] Ibid., Heb 12:7–8.

^[16] Ibid., 2 Co 1:3–4.

This Passage of Scripture Does Not Apply to Me--or Does It?

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The unjust [has] said within himself that he would sin: there is no fear of God before his eyes.  For in his sight he [has] done deceitfully, that his iniquity may be found unto hatred.  The words of his mouth are iniquity and guile: he would not understand that he might do well.  He [has] devised iniquity on his bed; he [has] set himself on every way that is not good: but evil he [has] not hated.^[1]

            The numerous times I have read this passage and similar passages, I have always related them to the non-believer.  In other words, this passage did not apply to me.  It would be one of those passages that applies to the other guy.  As far as myself, I could take a permanent marker and mark it out because it did not apply to me. Or does it?  As I have said other times, we see ourselves in the best light.

            Let’s look at a different version of Scripture, the Revised Standard Version: Transgression speaks to the wicked deep in his heart; there is no fear of God before his eyes.  

For he flatters himself in his own eyes that his iniquity cannot be found out and hated.  The words of his mouth are mischief and deceit; he has ceased to act wisely and do good.  He plots mischief while on his bed; he sets himself in a way that is not good; he spurns not evil.^[2]  The word transgression strikes out at me.  Is there transgression within me?  Of course.  If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.^[3]  The word transgression makes me begin to squirm.  Transgression speaks, and I do.  Could it be that this passage is meant directly for me?

            Let’s see what the New American Bible has to say: Sin directs the heart of the wicked man; his eyes are closed to the fear of God.  For he lives with the delusion: his guilt will not be known and hated.  Empty and false are the words of his mouth; he has ceased to be wise and do good.  On his bed he hatches plots; he sets out on a wicked way; he does not reject evil.^[4]  Ouch.  Sin directs the heart of the wicked man.  Do I sin because sin is directing me?

Now, sin directs the heart of the wicked man.  However, is it possible that this refers to sin directing the heart of the non-believer; but, since I am a believer, sin does not direct my heart, although I still sin?  The problem is: I would be pointing fingers, making this passage to not apply to myself but others.  It might even cause me to attempt to judge whether someone is a believer or not.  Even some commentaries can, if not read carefully, add fuel to the problem.

            The Catholic Commentary says about Psalm 36: “The wickedness wrought by a godless man is contrasted with God’s goodness and kindness. The psalmist prays that he may be protected from evil-doers, who ride for a fall…  ‘Transgression’ is personified; it is an evil oracle whispering temptation to a reprobate man, telling him that God never seeks out a sinner’s iniquity, and does not hate him…  Another interpretation is that the wicked man flatters himself at finding that his iniquity is an object of hatred…  He ceases to think of doing good, like the fool in (Psalm) 13:2.”^[5]  I am not godless, correct, because I am a believer and have been baptized?  Therefore, this can fuel the thought that this portion of the psalm does not apply to me.

            Now, Fr. George Haydock, in his commentary, as a different take on this psalm.  He says: “I am inwardly convinced how great the malice of the wicked may be.  It touches me to the very heart…  The wicked are bent on evil, and this fills the virtuous with grief…  They sin publicly (Ps 13:1) and on purpose, preferring vice before virtue, and constantly bent on doing evil, so that they become odious to all.”[6]  This is correct.  However, it still could cause a great problem: We could see the sins of others as greater than our own, making ourselves better than them.

            Let us look, first, as this psalm applying to our Lord Jesus Christ.  Looking down upon mankind, God sees how destitute mankind is.  This portion of the psalm shows the state of the human race.  It is to this that we can apply Fr. Haydock’s comments.  Because of this state, He becomes Incarnate to save us.  He is perfectly holy, without sin.  We are with sin; therefore, we need to view this as applying to us, individually.

            St. Robert Bellarmine, commenting upon Verse 1, the unjust hath said within himself, that he would sin: there is no fear of God before his eyes, says: “The prophet tells us the two primary roots of sin, one of which is in the will, whereby we determine on committing sin; the other is in the understanding, that does not consider the fear of the Lord forbidding sin.  ‘The unjust [has] said within himself,’ that is, with himself, in his heart he determined to sin; that is, consented in his heart to sin.  ‘The fear of God is not before his eyes.’  He so consented because, in his heart, he did not think of the fear of the Lord, who sees everything.  Fear is used here for the object of it; that is, he did not think that God was just, powerful, and all seeing—for, if he did, he would be more afraid of one so powerful.  When we fear anyone, we are afraid to do anything bad in his presence; and, thus, he who fears God dares not to sin interiorly, for God searches even our hearts.”[7]  Hence, we sin because of our will and our understanding.  We are not afraid to sin in his presence.  No thing nor no person can force us to sin.  When we sin, it is because it is our will to sin.  We can accept death as a preference to sin, which our Lord and the martyrs did.  Of course, we can reject this notion that the fear of the Lord is not before our eyes; however, the fact remains: We are not the ultimate Judge regarding this.  It is much better for us to recognize a sin, confess it, and repent rather than deny it and not repent.

            St. Augustine tells us, regarding this verse: “Not of one man, but of a race of ungodly men he speaks, who fight against their own selves by not understanding… so [that] they may live well--not because they cannot but because they will not.  For it is one thing when one endeavors to understand something and, through infirmity of flesh cannot--as says the Scripture in a certain place, “For the corruptible body presses down the soul, and the earthly tabernacle weighs down the mind that muses upon many things” (Wisdom 9:15)--but another when the human heart acts mischievously against itself so that what it could understand, if it had but good will thereto.  It understands not, not because it is difficult but because the will is contrary.   But so it is when men love their own sins and hate God’s commandments.  For the Word of God is your adversary if you be a friend to your ungodliness.  But, if you are an adversary to your ungodliness, the Word of God is your friend, as well as the adversary of your ungodliness.…”^[8]  If we can see our wickedness and are repentant, confessing it, we have hope.

            Regarding the second verse, for in his (God’s) sight he hath done deceitfully, that his iniquity may be found unto hatred, St. Bellarmine explains: “In this verse, he proves his assertion, that the unjust man does not possess the fear of the Lord: for in his sight he has done deceitfully with God himself and with all men, ‘so that his iniquity may be found unto hatred’ and not for pardon, a thing he certainly would not have done had he feared God.  For who would dare to transgress in the presence of a judge for whom he entertained the slightest fear?”[9]  This should cause concern to begin to build for we are beginning to see how obstinate we truly are.  What St. Augustine says can apply to us as well:  “There are men who, as it were, endeavor to seek out their iniquity and fear to find it because, if they should find it, it is said to them, ‘Depart from it: This you did before you knew; you did iniquity being in ignorance; God gives pardon: now you have discovered it, forsake it, that to your ignorance pardon may easily be given; and that with a clear face you may say to God, ‘Remember not the sins of my youth and of my ignorance (Ps 25:7).’  Thus he seeks it; thus he fears lest he find it; for he seeks it deceitfully.”^[10]  We have “pet” sins that we just do not desire to stop, because we enjoy them.  Augustine goes on: “Now, many ‘work deceitfully to find out their iniquity;’ they work not from their heart to find it out and hate it.  But because in the very search after iniquity there is deceit, in the finding it there will be defense of it.”^[11]  When we become aware that what we enjoy is sin, we will then defend it or make excuses for it.  Fr. George Haydock, in his commentary, writes: “Sometimes ignorance is excusable when a person does his best to obtain knowledge. But, when he is negligent, the ignorance is gross and sinful in proportion to the importance of the thing.  If one desires to be ignorant to prevent remorse, this only increases the guilt, and God often leaves such [persons] destitute of the ordinary graces which he gives to others so that they fall into a reprobate sense and into more horrible sins.”^[12]

            The words of his mouth are iniquity and guile: he would not understand that he might do well.  The words he would not understand attributes this to our will.  Augustine explains: “For there are men who would understand and cannot, and there are men who [desire to] not understand and, therefore, understand not.”^[13]

            He [has] devised iniquity on his bed; he [has] set himself on every way that is not good: but evil he [has] not hated.  Augustine explains that this he has set himself means that the individual has sinned perseveringly.^[14]  St. Alphonsus de Liguori writes: “The wicked man has said in his heart, or has resolved (as is explained by Bellarmine and Mattei), to sin freely; and he acts thus because he has no longer the fear of God before his eyes.”^[15]  We know that God is all knowing; nevertheless, are we fearful when we sin?  No.  We often hold our sins separate from our heart, our heart being good.  Nevertheless, our Lord tells us: “Either make the tree good, and its fruit good; or make the tree bad, and its fruit bad; for the tree is known by its fruit. You brood of vipers! how can you speak good, when you are evil? For out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks. The good man out of his good treasure brings forth good, and the evil man out of his evil treasure brings forth evil. I tell you, on the day of judgment men will render account for every careless word they utter; for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned.”^[16]  Elsewhere, our Lord tells us, “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of my Father who is in heaven,”^[17] and “Why do you call me ‘Lord, Lord,’ and not do what I tell you?^[18]

            St. Alphonsus de Liguori that the perverse man “does not wish to understand what is good so as not to be obliged to practice it.^[19]  Often, we place ourselves above God.  We do this when we desire to dictate what is evil and what is not.  There is no fear of God.  “On his bed, he premeditates to do evil, and he gives himself to every wicked means; for, far from hating evil, he loves it.”^[20]

            John Cassian teaches us: “It is most clearly established by instances and testimonies from Scripture that the mischief of pride, although it comes later in the order of the combat, is yet earlier in origin and is the beginning of all sins and faults.  Nor is it (like the other vices) simply fatal to the virtue opposite to it (in this case, humility), but it is also at the same time destructive of all virtues: nor does it only tempt ordinary folk and small people, but chiefly those who already stand on the heights of valor.”^[21]  We speak of humbling ourselves, but our “humbling” is just pride.  Only God can make us humble.  Humility comes from the Humble One.

            We need to know this in order that we may learn that we are sick.  “Those who are well have no need of a physician, but those who are sick. Go and learn what this means, ‘I desire mercy, and not sacrifice.’ For I came not to call the righteous, but sinners.” ^[22]  Oh, what sweet words!  We do not have to despair.  Psalm 36 goes on to say: Lord, your mercy reaches to heaven; your fidelity, to the clouds.  Your justice is like the highest mountains; your judgments, like the mighty deep; human being and beast you sustain, Lord.  How precious is your mercy, O God!  The children of Adam take refuge in the shadow of your wings.  They feast on the rich food of your house; from your delightful stream you give them drink.  For with you is the fountain of life, and in your light we see light.  Show mercy on those who know you, your just defense to the upright of heart.^[23]  This comes to through the gift of the Church, the Word, and the Sacraments, especially the Eucharist.  We will not see perfection immediately.  We must grow.  What happens immediately in eternity is played out, most often, slowly in time.  We must persevere.

            As a result, in the concluding verse of Psalm 25, let us see the proud, wicked, and evil doers as the pride and sins within us.  They are our worst enemies.  Do not let the foot of the proud overtake me, nor the hand of the wicked disturb me.  There make the evildoers fall; thrust them down, unable to rise ^[24] In this way, we will greatly benefit from this psalm, making it very applicable to us, leading us to salvation.  It will also cause us to mourn for our neighbor, because of his ignorance or obstinance.  Our neighbors are just like us, and we should pray for them.  We should teach them if they are willing to listen.  However, if they are not willing, we should pray for them.  Perhaps, God will have mercy upon them and reveal his truth to them.

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^[1] The Holy Bible, Translated from the Latin Vulgate, (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2009), Ps 35:2–6.

^[2] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Ps 36:1–4.

^[3] The Holy Bible, Translated from the Latin Vulgate, (Bellingham, WA: Logos Bible Software, 2009), 1 Jn 1:8.

^[4] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Ps 36:2–5.

^[5] T. E. Bird, A Catholic Commentary on Holy Scripture, 1953, 454.

[6] George Leo Haydock, Haydock’s Catholic Bible Commentary, (New York: Edward Dunigan and Brother, 1859), Ps 35:2.

[7] Saint Robert Bellarmine. A Commentary on the Book of Psalms (Illustrated) (p. 160). Aeterna Press. Kindle Edition.

^[8] Augustine of Hippo, Saint Augustin: Expositions on the Book of Psalms, 1888, 8, 86.

[9] Saint Robert Bellarmine. A Commentary on the Book of Psalms (Illustrated) (p. 160). Aeterna Press. Kindle Edition.

^[10] Augustine of Hippo, Saint Augustin: Expositions on the Book of Psalms, 1888, 8, 86.

^[11] Ibid., 86–87.

^[12] George Leo Haydock, Haydock’s Catholic Bible Commentary, (New York: Edward Dunigan and Brother, 1859), Ps 35:4.

^[13] Augustine of Hippo, Saint Augustin: Expositions on the Book of Psalms, 1888, 8, 87.

^[14] Ibid.

^[15] Alphonsus de Liguori, The Divine Office: Explanation of the Psalms and Canticles, ed. Eugene Grimm, The Complete Works of Saint Alphonsus de Liguori, Third Edition., (New York; Cincinnati; Chicago; London; Dublin: Benziger Brothers; R. Washbourne; M. H. Gill & Son, 1889), 110.

^[16] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Mt 12:33–37.

^[17] Ibid., Mt 7:21.

^[18] Ibid., Lk 6:46.

^[19] Alphonsus de Liguori, The Divine Office: Explanation of the Psalms and Canticles, ed. Eugene Grimm, The Complete Works of Saint Alphonsus de Liguori, Third Edition., (New York; Cincinnati; Chicago; London; Dublin: Benziger Brothers; R. Washbourne; M. H. Gill & Son, 1889), 111.

^[20] Ibid.

^[21] John Cassian, Sulpitius Severus, Vincent of Lérins, John Cassian, 1894, 11, 281.

^[22] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Mt 9:12–13.

^[23] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Ps 36:6–11.

^[24]    Ibid., Ps 36:12–13.

I Am Not Wicked--or Am I?

Return, Israel, to the Lord, your God; you have stumbled because of your iniquity.  Take with you words, and return to the Lord; Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity, and take what is good. Let us offer the fruit of our lips.^[1]

            It is often extremely difficult for us to see our faults, our sins.  We, many times, live lives that is right in our own eyes.  This is a result of original sin.  This is what Satan was speaking of when he told Eve, “Your eyes will be opened, and you will be like gods, who know good and evil.”^[2]  As a result, many times we disagree with Scripture—God’s word—and his Body, the Church, thinking that what we believe is more rational or relevant.  If we disagree with God, then we are putting ourselves above him, making ourselves god.  We do not believe we are wicked; therefore, we see no need of repentance.  However, our defense of ourselves holds no water in comparison to the truth of God.  When we see the true holiness of God, we can only hold our heads in shame, becoming speechless. 

            In the Old Testament, Israel—the northern kingdom—also did not see wickedness in themselves.  They believed they were worshipping the true God, and they felt that, if they were not prospering, they were at least comfortable.  That is us.  This is one of the things we strive for: comfort.  Therefore, we subconsciously make ourselves the judge of what will make us comfortable.  We need to constantly realize that we are not the Judge, that God is not working to make us comfortable, but is working to remove the dross from us.  God is holy, and sin cannot be in his presence. 

            The Roman soldiers placed a crown of thorns upon our Lord’s head.  Those thorns can be representative of mankind.  Those thorns, God is turning into a glorious crown.  It is not riches, nice clothes, etc., that makes that crown glorious; it is humility and suffering.  We are shown this by our Lord’s life on this earth.

            We inherently compare ourselves to other people, and it is by this means that we probably consider ourselves as not being wicked.  We live in shades of gray.  What we need to do is see things more as black and white.  White is holiness, saints; black is wickedness, sinners.  We need to compare ourselves to God, and then we will see ourselves as wicked.  St. John holds this view.  He tells us: God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all.  If we say, “We have fellowship with him,” while we continue to walk in darkness, we lie and do not act in truth.^[3]  If we look at these words as black and white, we know that darkness is in; and, therefore, we are not in a perfect relationship with him.  This must grieve us.  Seeing our wickedness and thereby causing our repentance, we will have hope.  But if we walk in the light as he is in the light, then we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of his Son Jesus cleanses us from all sin.  If we say, “We are without sin,” we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us.  If we acknowledge our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive our sins and cleanse us from every wrongdoing.  If we say, “We have not sinned,” we make him a liar, and his word is not in us.^[4]

            Our admittance of our wickedness causes humility; it shows our weakness.  It is this weakness which we should boast of.  It is this weakness which will make us strong.  As St. Paul teaches us: “…for power is made perfect in weakness.” I will rather boast most gladly of my weaknesses, in order that the power of Christ may dwell with me. Therefore, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and constraints, for the sake of Christ; for when I am weak, then I am strong.”^[5]  It is then that these words will have meaning for us: Return, O Israel, to the Lord your God, for you have stumbled because of your iniquity.  Take with you words and return to the Lord; say to him, “Take away all iniquity; accept that which is good, and we will render the fruit of our lips.^[6]

            Scripture tells us that Israel had become guilty, for she had rebelled against God.^[7]  I think it would be safe for us to presume that Israel did not realize this fact.  We can conclude this from the words Amazia spoke to the prophet, Amos: “Off with you, seer, flee to the land of Judah and there earn your bread by prophesying!  But never again prophesy in Bethel; for it is the king’s sanctuary and a royal temple.”^[8]  Amos was prophesying words of destruction, and Israel did not like this.  We, very often, are much like this.  We hold ourselves in the best light, and we do not like others telling us things we don’t agree with.  This is what can be interpreted from the words “king’s sanctuary” and “royal temple.”  We act as though we are “number one,” “king.”  If only Israel had believed, good would have come to them.  Likewise, when we see who and what we really are, goodness will come upon us: I will listen for what God, the Lord, has to say; surely, he will speak of peace to his people and to his faithful.^[9]  Although the words that the prophets were seemingly harsh, they were words of peace—if they had adhered to those words.  Love and truth will meet; justice and peace will kiss.  Truth will spring from the earth; justice will look down from heaven.^[10]

            Let us come to the realization of who we are, and pray with the psalmist: Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy steadfast love; according to thy abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.  Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!^[11]  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.  Then I will teach transgressors thy ways, and sinners will return to thee.^[12]  

            We are our own worst enemy.  This is because we very often live by our feelings and passions.  In the sixth chapter of the Gospel according to St. Mark, we read: He summoned the Twelve and began to send them out two by two and gave them authority over unclean spirits.  He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick—no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals but not a second tunic.  He said to them, “Wherever you enter a house, stay there until you leave from there.  Whatever place does not welcome you or listen to you, leave there and shake the dust off your feet in testimony against them.”  So they went off and preached repentance.  They drove out many demons, and they anointed with oil many who were sick and cured them.^[13]  We must realize that Judas was one of the Twelve.  He was also doing these great works.  He had made a decision to follow Jesus, and he was chosen as one of the apostles.  Perhaps, Judas was on our Lord’s mind when he spoke the words: “Not everyone who says to me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ will enter the kingdom of heaven, but only the one who does the will of my Father in heaven.  Many will say to me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in your name? Did we not drive out demons in your name? Did we not do mighty deeds in your name?’ Then I will declare to them solemnly, ‘I never knew you. Depart from me, you evildoers’.”^[14]  Judas was living by his feelings and passions.  It is ill-advised for us to look down upon Judas, when we should be seeing ourselves in him and, as a result, repent.

            Let us presume for a moment that, much like ourselves, Judas did not think that he was greedy.  Let us also presume that, in some way, he even justified in his mind that the money he was taking from the purse was not really stealing.  This is what we often do.  We attempt to justify why it is okay for us to do what we do and say what we say.  The danger is: We are hardening our hearts just as Judas had.  When we attempt to justify our actions, we are saying that we do not desire to repent, and we do not desire the peace of God in this matter.  If we are not careful, this will continue more and more.  Just as callouses do not come immediately upon us but occurs gradually, so is the hardening of our hearts.  It is God’s word and the teaching of his Church which works repentance and confession in us and keeps our hearts tender.  It is repentance and confession, along with prayer, which will save us from ourselves.

            St. Paul tells us: Do you not know that the runners in the stadium all run in the race, but only one wins the prize?  Run so as to win.  Every athlete exercises discipline in every way. They do it to win a perishable crown, but we an imperishable one.  Thus, I do not run aimlessly; I do not fight as if I were shadowboxing.  No, I drive my body and train it, for fear that, after having preached to others, I myself should be disqualified.^[15]  This is our cooperation with the works of God; this is part of the suffering we must endure.  What St. James tells us coincides with this: Where do the wars and where do the conflicts among you come from?  Is it not from your passions that make war within your members?  You covet but do not possess.  You kill and envy but you cannot obtain; you fight and wage war.  You do not possess because you do not ask.  You ask but do not receive, because you ask wrongly, to spend it on your passions.  Adulterers!  Do you not know that to be a lover of the world means enmity with God?  Therefore, whoever wants to be a lover of the world makes himself an enemy of God.^[16]  We need to be praying that God help us to overcome our feelings and passions.

            Considering the words of St. James, we now understand that Israel had committed adultery against God.  Nevertheless, God, because of his abundant love, desired that they have peace with him.  He forewarned them of prevailing danger; however, they did not understand—nor did they desire to understand--for they only wanted to hear things that pleased them.  Like Israel, we commit adultery against God many times.  Out of his abundant love, he is calling to us to repent.  Return, Israel, to the Lord, your God; you have stumbled because of your iniquity.  Take with you words, and return to the Lord; Say to him, “Forgive all iniquity, and take what is good. Let us offer the fruit of our lips.  In response to his love, let us reply: Let me hear what God the Lord will speak, for he will speak peace to his people, to his saints, to those who turn to him in their hearts.  Surely his salvation is at hand for those who fear him, that glory may dwell in our land.^[17] If you, Lord, keep account of sins, Lord, who can stand?^[18]  How many are my iniquities and my sins? Make me know my transgression and my sin.^[19]  My iniquities have gone over my head; they weigh like a burden too heavy for me.^[20]  Have mercy on me, O God, according to thy steadfast love; according to thy abundant mercy blot out my transgressions.   Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, and cleanse me from my sin!^[21]  Create in me a clean heart, O God, and put a new and right spirit within me.  Cast me not away from thy presence, and take not thy holy Spirit from me.  Restore to me the joy of thy salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit. 

            The concupiscence within us causes us to want to justify our desires, feelings, and passions.  The way of fools is right in their own eyes.^[22]  We must fight this, but this is like a toddler fighting an adult.  We are too weak.  This we must confess; and, thereby, in our weakness, we will become strong.  Christ will, then, do our fighting for us.  However, let us not become disillusioned that there will be ease.  When St. Paul instructed us regarding this, what had occurred prior?  …A thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan, to harass me, to keep me from being too elated.^[23]  In the poem, Footprints in the Sand, we read: “In each scene, I noticed footprints in the sand.  Sometimes there were two sets of footprints; other times there were one set of footprints.”  The Lord told the person, “The times when you have seen only one set of footprints is when I carried you.”  Nonetheless, when were these times?  “During the low periods of my life, when I was suffering from anguish, sorrow, or defeat.”  Although in our weakness Christ is strong, we still undergo the suffering, just as St. Paul did.  When we are fighting our desires, feelings, and passions, it is Christ who is causing us to overcome; nevertheless, we feel the pain.

            From St. Augustine, we learn: “By your Gift (the Holy Spirit), we are inflamed and are borne upwards; we wax hot inwardly and go forwards.  We ascend your ways that be in our heart (cf. Ps 84:5) and sing a song of degrees; we glow inwardly with your fire, with your good fire, and we go, because we go upwards to the peace of Jerusalem; for glad was I when they said unto me, ‘Let us go into the house of the Lord (cf. Ps 122:1).’  There has your good pleasure placed us, that we may desire no other thing than to dwell there forever.”^[24]  Fire burns, is painful, burning away all that is bad/harmful within us.

            The pain should give us hope.  It should cause us to recall that God is doing a good work within us, answering our prayers.  It gives us hope.  It reminds us that this hope is not a wishful thinking, but is a concrete thing, something that is taking place within us now and will be fulfilled in the future—if we persevere to the end (cf. Col 1:21-23, 2 Ti 2:12).  Even this perseverance does not come by our strength, but his.  But his allowing us to suffer allows us to cooperate with what he is doing and also gives us this hope. 

Pope Benedict XVI tells us: “…Every statement about the Faith is ordered to the four basic elements: the Creed, the Our Father, the Decalogue (the Ten Commandments), and the sacraments.  The whole foundation of Christian life is thereby included—the synthesis of the Church’s teaching as it is based on Scripture and Tradition.  Christians find here what they are to believe (the Symbolum or Creed), what they are to hope (the Our Father), what they are to do (the Decalogue or Ten Commandments), and the ambience in which all this is to be accomplished (the sacraments).”^[25]  Everything we need to return to God, and remain, is contained in the great gift Jesus has given us: his Body, the Catholic Church.  Justice and mercy kiss in the Church.

Because it is often difficult for us to see our own faults, we ask God to reveal our sins to us.  Most often, he is going to do this by utilizing others and the Church.  When others tell us our fault, or get angry with us, many times it will not be in a kind manner; but we need to keep the mindset that it is from God, showing us our sins.  When they act this way to us, we must be gentle and kind in return.  We learn this from what happened to King David: And David said to Abishai and to all his servants (when Shime-i cursed King David), “Behold, my own son seeks my life; how much more now may this Benjaminite! Let him alone, and let him curse; for the Lord has bidden him. It may be that the Lord will look upon my affliction, and that the Lord will repay me with good for this cursing of me today.”^[26]  God can also reveal our sins through the Church, utilizing the prayers, readings, and homilies.  We can often find them in the readings that we feel “have no relevance to us,” that “do not apply to us.”  Those are the ones we need to give most heed to.  Realizing that we are our own worst enemy, we can be extremely cautious, allowing God to subdue that great enemy.

Marriage can be a good example.  A marriage is more harmonious when both spouses desire giving more than receiving, when each seeks the good of the other more than what they want to receive or their own “happiness” or what they think they might deserve.  Even if it is only one spouse who has this mindset, the marriage will probably be good.  That spouse will have the mindset of King David: “Let my spouse curse me, for the Lord has bidden him/her.  It may be that the Lord will look upon my affliction and that the Lord will repay us with good for this cursing of me today.”  And, then, we pray for our spouse.  We, likewise, can keep this mindset in our interactions with those we come in contact with daily.  As St. John Chrysostom instructs us: If you are a severe judge of the sins of others, what defense can you make in matters wherein you yourself do amiss, by saying that you are ignorant of what things ought to be done?^[27]  If we are harsh judges of the sins of others, should we not also be judged harshly for our sins—whether done in ignorance or with full knowledge?

In another place, Chrysostom teaches us: “If you speak of the [sins] of others, you are [in] no wise profited, neither have you gained anything but have ruined yourself.  If you confess your own [sins] to the Lord, you have great reward: for one says, ‘I said, I will confess against myself mine iniquity to the Lord, and you forgave the impiety of my heart’ (Ps 32:5).”^[28]  When we speak bad of another’s faults, we are saying that we are better than them.  To the contrary, St. Paul tells us, “…in humility, count others better than yourselves.”^[29]  This does not mean that we should not grieve over the sins of others, but we should pray for them.  As St. Jerome says, “Good men have always sorrowed for the sins of others.”^[30]  

Returning to John Chrysostom, we learn: “He who weeps for the sins of others will not pass by his own transgressions unwept or, rather, he will not quickly sin.  But this is dreadful: that, when we are ordered to grieve for them that sin, we do not even exhibit any repentance for our own sins but, when sinning, remain without feeling…”^[31]  We need to see our sins in the sins of others.  Otherwise, we are pointing fingers and putting ourselves above them, when we are not the Judge of who is better.  When we point fingers, thinking others are worse than us, we have become like the Pharisee: ‘God, I thank thee that I am not like other men, extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even like this tax collector.^[32]  He did not go to his house justified (cf. Lk 18:14).

“I am not wicked”—or am I?  If we do not think we are wicked, we have nothing to repent of.  Someone might say, “I sin, but I am not wicked.”  The problem becomes: We are not the Judge.  We see ourselves in the best light.  If we see the worst in ourselves, we cry out to God for help.  If we do not, we do not grieve, crying out to God.  Let us be like the tax collector, crying out, “God, be merciful to me a sinner!”^[33]  Then we will go to our house justified.  We are much better off seeing ourselves wicked and repenting.

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^[1] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Ho 14:2–3.

^[2] Ibid., Ge 3:5.

^[3] Ibid., 1 Jn 1:5–6.

^[4] Ibid., 1 Jn 1:7–10.

^[5] Ibid., 2 Co 12:9–10.

^[6] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Ho 14:1–2.

^[7] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Ho 14:1.

^[8] Ibid., Am 7:12–13.

^[9] Ibid., Ps 85:9.

^[10] Ibid., Ps 85:11–12.

^[11] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Ps 51:1–2.

^[12] Ibid., Ps 51:10–13.

^[13] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Mk 6:7–13.

^[14] Ibid., Mt 7:21–23.

^[15] Ibid., 1 Co 9:24–27.

^[16] Ibid., Jas 4:1–4.

^[17] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Ps 85:8–9.

^[18] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Ps 130:3.

^[19] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Job 13:23.

^[20] Ibid., Ps 38:4.

^[21] Ibid., Ps 51:1–2.

^[22] New American Bible, Revised Edition., (Washington, DC: The United States Conference of Catholic Bishops, 2011), Pr 12:15.

^[23] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), 2 Co 12:7.

^[24] Augustine of Hippo, The Confessions and Letters of St. Augustin with a Sketch of His Life and Work, 1886, 1, 192–193.

^[25] Joseph Ratzinger, Co-Workers of the Truth: Meditations for Every Day of the Year, ed. Irene Grassl, (San Francisco: Ignatius Press, 1992), 224.

^[26] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), 2 Sa 16:11–12.

^[27] John Chrysostom, Saint Chrysostom: On the Priesthood, Ascetic Treatises, Select Homilies and Letters, Homilies on the Statues, 1889, 9, 424.

^[28] John Chrysostom, Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on the Gospel of St. John and Epistle to the Hebrews, 1889, 14, 464.

^[29] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Php 2:3.

^[30] Jerome, St. Jerome: Letters and Select Works, 1893, 6, 225.

^[31] John Chrysostom, Saint Chrysostom: Homilies on Galatians, Ephesians, Philippians, Colossians, Thessalonians, Timothy, Titus, and Philemon, 1889, 13, 255.

^[32] Catholic Biblical Association (Great Britain), The Holy Bible: Revised Standard Version, Catholic Edition, (New York: National Council of Churches of Christ in the USA, 1994), Lk 18:11.

^[33] Ibid., Lk 18:13.